1) Go to a supermarket.

2) Quarrel over choice of ingredients.

3) Go home.

4) Quarrel over how the cooking should be done.

5) Eat.

6) Quarrel over who should do the dirty dishes.

7) Complain about rising food prices.

8) Sleep.

Sounds like a plan.

I like writing. It makes me feel alive. My brain starts churning, ideas form, excitement mounts. Fingers fly over the keyboard. Time melts away like butter in a hot pan. I actually care for once - about the reader - and how the story would add value to his life. Would it make him think? Add to his knowledge base? Amuse him perhaps? And then there is the joy of looking for a picture to go along with the words. So many on the Net, and I keep my eyes peeled for the one that speaks to me, and it’s usually the first few that pops up. Sometimes I doubt anyone actually reads what I write. Then I realize that as long as I enjoy my own work, that is enough. The joy is in the creation.

Compassion is something that I’ve been pondering about lately. On the web, there are many definitions, and in the Buddhist sense, compassion is when we notice and empathise with someone who is in distress and strive to lessen his pain. As I grow older, I have come to realise that this is a quality that people have in varying degrees, and I would certainly be a better person if I could behave in a more compassionate way towards others. Perhaps if I could cultivate more of this quality, it would help atone in part for my youthful mistakes, for when I was younger, I could be unkind, judgmental and downright mean on occasion. 

So what does compassion mean to me today?

Compassion to me is…

1.      Holding my tongue when someone says something mean and I have the urge to hurt her back with personal insults. This requires maturity and understanding that most of the time, it’s about the other person, not me. I remind myself that the person is probably having a tough time and is transferring her rage outwards. In these instances, I’d bite my tongue because if I had lashed out, I would have felt bad afterwards, in addition to already feeling awful about the mean remark.  Better just to have one person upset than two.

2.      Helping someone to see the bright side of things when they are feeling miserable. Most of us are working adults and are already struggling to have work-life balance. It takes effort, empathy and genuine concern for someone to take the time to listen and offer a different perspective.

3.      Saying a kind word to someone who needs it, even when they don’t verbalise it. Many times, people cannot find support when in distress, or maybe don’t even realise that they are in need of encouragement. As a friend/colleague/family member, I try to take the effort to notice when someone is feeling down. Sometimes, just a kind word can lift their mood tremendously. While I might not be able to provide solutions to their problems per se, what I can do for them is to show support and concern, which makes them feel less alone.

4.      Showing gratitude to people who are, in their own eyes, just doing their job. This also means respecting others, even when the balance of power is tipped in my favour.

5.      Making someone feel like their work is worth something. All of us want to know that our hard work is appreciated. In my job, I work with a design and copywriting firm for our corporate magazine, and when I get praise from the management, I take the effort to let them know that their work is appreciated. This goes a long way towards fostering stronger relationships and motivating them to do even better. I have also found that because of the appreciation and respect shown, they are more willing to go the extra mile, such as accommodating last minute changes.

6.      Not pushing someone beyond what they are capable of. There’s a fine line between pushing them to excel, to go further than what they think they can do, versus making them question their own competency and in the process, damage their self-esteem.

7.      Allowing others to open up at their own pace. In the early stages of trying to forge a friendship, I do more than my fair share of talking if I sense that the other person is uncomfortable revealing his thoughts. I let them share if they want to, and prod a little to show interest when appropriate, but try never to force them to reveal more than what is comfortable for them.

8.      Allowing myself to be vulnerable to people whom I don’t know that well, including colleagues. This requires a great leap of faith, because doing this means that there is a risk that the other party would think I’m weak or use the information to her advantage in the workplace. 

9.      Having a forgiving spirit. I try not to judge others harshly for their mistakes or perceived shortcomings. This has another benefit – in being less judgmental of others, I have learnt to be kind to myself too. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it’s a start. All of us will have our own definitions of what being compassionate means, and the first step is simply to pay attention to what others are feeling, and the rest will follow naturally.

Sounds like you?

Fret not, you’re not alone. Although work is a means to an end, many of us would like to do work that is meaningful, that fulfils us in a way that nothing else, not even lovers, can. If we find ourselves unable to fulfil our higher purpose, then frustration and apathy can set in. These feelings, if prolonged, can lead to depression. The good news is, you can take steps to rectify the situation fairly easily. All it takes is self-awareness and an open mind to different possibilities. Here are some pointers to help you decide if it’s time to move on from your current workplace.

1. You procrastinate, a lot. Tasks that you used to enjoy working on no longer appeal to you. Projects that used to excite you now just feels like a chore, and the mere thought of doing it drains you mentally. You find yourself running out of ideas, and even your boss has commented on your lack of enthusiasm and contributions.
2. You are socially isolated. Whether by choice or otherwise, this is a common reason why people quit. Human beings are social by nature, and if you are unable to connect with your colleagues, your happiness level will be negatively affected. But before you make rash decisions, think about the part you played in this. Have you tried hard enough to make friends with those who work with you? If you have and are sure that the problem is beyond your control, such as a lack of personal chemistry, company culture or geographical issues, then maybe it’s time to stop trying and move on elsewhere where you are more likely to find your tribe.
3.  You spend more and more time doing non-work related stuff, such as checking your personal email compulsively and mindless web-surfing. That pang of guilt that you used to feel doing things unrelated to work is slowly ebbing away. You find yourself desperately looking for just one more article to read before you start work proper, and your heart plummets when there is no new mail in your personal inbox every half an hour, when you “take a break” from work.
4. You find yourself constantly reminding yourself how “lucky” you are to have this job, and how many others would love to take your place. Sure, we all count our blessings from time to time to remind ourselves not to take things for granted. But if you’re doing it on a daily basis, then it’s time to take a cold, hard look at yourself and evaluate if you’re truly “grateful” for the job, or is staying put out of a fear of the unknown.
5. When someone asks you how’s work, you have to take a few moments to put a positive spin on the answer, or your response will typically be a “whiny” one, chockful of how difficult everything is. The truth is this: if you’re having a great time doing work you love, you don’t need to think whenever someone asks you this question. The passion and energy will ooze out of your every pore, and you will be dying to share your accomplishments with everyone and anyone who cares to ask.
6. You  feel like you are going nuts. On one hand you keep convincing yourself that you need the money, the security and status that comes with having a job, while on the other hand you dread going in to work and every minute spent at your desk feels like pure agony. The cognitive dissonance is driving you up the wall, and you being to wonder if you’re developing bi-polar disorder.
7. The first thought that crosses your mind on a weekday morning is: I feel ill. You mentally run through three things: one, if there are any urgent things to attend to; two, whether there are enough folks in the office to function without you; and three, has a decent period passed since the last time you took medical leave. Three yes-es and you suddenly feel as if you are too sick to move an inch. Before you know it, your fingers have developed a life of their own and are typing out the words “Not feeling well today, will be taking medical leave” on your iPhone to send to your boss.

The one thing that human beings have over other animals is free will. If you are feeling trapped, evaluate your situation critically. If you are still in love with the core functions of the job, then maybe you just need a change of environment. But should you find yourself losing interest in the job entirely, then maybe your interest in that industry has run its course, or you were in the wrong field all along. In this case, re-evaluate your skill sets critically and see which other roles you can explore that require the same skills. While it may take time for you to come to a conclusion or land a new job, remember that we all have a choice and that no job is worth your sanity. Just a word of caution though, be very sure that you can afford to take a break should you decide to quit without a job. The last thing you need is to worry about paying your bills while you figure out your next step. Good luck.

To make the garlic spread, melt 325g or 1.5 chunks of unsalted butter in a water bath. Add 4 cloves of garlic and a generous sprinkling of dried rosemary. After letting the garlic and herbs infuse the butter for about five minutes, turn off the heat and let the mixture cool.

Seasoning for chicken marinade:

1)      1 teaspoon mushroom or oyster sauce

2)      1 teaspoon dark soy sauce

3)      2 teaspoons light soy sauce

4)      Sprinkling of pepper

5)      2.5 tablespoons black pepper sauce

6)      3 tablespoons garlic spread

7)      Sprinkling of rosemary

Marinate 10-12 mid-sized chicken wings in above seasoning for two hours. Toast the wings for about 6 minutes in a toaster, then flip them over and continue to bake for another 5 minutes. To check if the chicken is cooked, poke chopstick into meat and if it comes out clean, the meat is done.

Peel 4 big potatoes and cut into chunks. Boil the potatoes till soft. Drain potatoes and set aside.

Pour the excess chicken marinate into a pan. Add ¾ cup water and 4 tablespoons garlic butter and bring to a boil. Add ½ teaspoon salt. Reduce the sauce to about 1/3 cup, then add mixture to potatoes. You can add more or less garlic butter depending on personal preference.

 Spread garlic butter on 3 pieces of toasted bread just before serving.

I rarely get the chance to taste my aunt’s cooking nowadays as she has since moved away, so all those years spent next to her in the kitchen really comes in useful whenever I get nostalgic for a taste of my childhood. (It’s true, a person does get wistful for the food of their youth as they get older).

I don’t know why, but these few days, I’ve developed a craving for her salted vegetable with lean meat. So when the hunger pangs hit this afternoon, I decided to recreate the dish. There was salted vegetable in the fridge, but no lean meat, so I’ve substituted that with minced pork.  Regretfully, I did not take a picture of my masterpiece because I was too hungry, but here’s the recipe below if any of you would like to try your hand at this simple yet delightful dish:

Must-have ingredients:

1 small packet salted vegetable

1 palm-sized slab of lean pork or equivalent amount of minced pork

2 cloves garlic

3 slices ginger

1 teaspoon light soy sauce

2 teaspoons dark soy sauce

1 teaspoon sesame oil

2 tablespoons cooking oil

1 teaspoon mushroom or oyster sauce

1/2 teaspoon sugar

3 tablespoons water

A couple dashes of pepper

Optional ingredients:

1 medium tomato

1 stalk chilli

And here we go:

1) Marinate the pork with sesame oil, pepper, dark and light soy sauce and mushroom or oyster sauce. Let it sit for half an hour or less, if you’re really hungry. =)

1) Meanwhile, rinse and julienne the salted vegetable. Normally, ingredients should be washed before slicing and dicing, but because the salted vegetable is a preserved veg that lives up to its name, do rinse another couple more times after chopping it up.

2) Heat up your wok and add in two tablespoons of cooking oil. While waiting for the oil to get hot, cut a few thin slivers of ginger, then chop the garlic into tiny pieces.

3) Make sure the oil is hot but not too hot (medium heat is best; you know it’s too hot if smoke emanates from the centre of the wok), then throw in the ginger and fry for one minute before adding the garlic and fry both til they’re lightly browned.

4) Turn up the heat, then put in the salted vegetables and toss it around for a minute or so.

5) Add the pork and the julienned chilli (chilli padi if you like a little spice) and fry for two minutes. 

6) Add in three tablespoons of water and a little sugar, then toss the tomato in. It might sound a little strange to add sugar to a salty dish, but a sprinkle of it does enhance the flavour noticeably.  

7) Fry the mix for another minute or until the meat looks cooked.

8) Serve with plain rice. 

If you do try your hand at this dish or enjoyed reading about it, do give me your comments. If responses are positive, I might make ”A little taste of heaven” into a regular series to share with those who love to cook. Meanwhile, bon appetit! =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSbpyxFC24k

I was doing some grocery shopping at NTUC last weekend because my parents were out of town. That meant that I had free rein of the kitchen for a few days and damn if I was not going to use the opportunity to test if my culinary skills were still intact. Just before I left the supermarket, I grabbed a packet of grapefruit flavoured Highland Storm breath mints because they were cheaper than the usual brand that I like. Because it is cool to be thrifty right now, I decided to give this brand a go.

According to research, women’s armpits smell like grapefruit. As of today, I can vouch for this. Lately, I have taken up the habit of eating breath mints or sweets or something-that-I-can-put-in-my-mouth-so-that-I-won’t-fall-asleep after lunch, so I was ransacking my drawer this afternoon and saw the mints sitting there calling out EAT ME….EAAAATTT ME….. and eat them I did. Big mistake, they tasted like ARMPITS.

Thinking that I could have a laugh at my colleagues’ expense to break the monotony of the day, I proffered them the “good stuff”. Then I did a straw poll, and all of them said the mints taste ok. I couldn’t believe it, I was the only one who could taste the armpits.

This brought to mind the engine oil that passed for wine at a monthly office party in my old company, the “dead chicken” taste of the chicken wing that came from the so-called famous nasi lemak stall in Changi Village, and water that has a taste like no taste. With the exception of my brother who can taste dead chickens (you’re probably thinking, as opposed to live chickens? Just work with me here) occasionally, nobody I know can taste the rest. And now grapefruit flavoured breath mints have joined the list.

It occured to me that hey, if nobody can taste what I can, I must be bloody special right? Maybe I can be a food taster or something, since I can taste things that others can’t. WTF, I’m going to quit my job tomorrow.